The Lost Dr. Who Epics (...of PiggyFizz)

Written by Piggy Fizz

Okay, so I didn’t enter the Big Finish short story contest earlier this year, though I did sort of think about it. However, during the whole sort of thinking about it process, my brain dislodged several youthful and rather unpolished efforts at WHO story-writing, now offered here in a public arena that would have been a mad-man’s nightmare when I originally crafted them, many years ago.

HOW DOCTOR WHO STARTED (LATE 70’S)

I had the Tom Baker doll - I loved Dr. Who but I had no idea what the back-story was. My brothers had an annual with Jon Pertwee wandering over some rocks on the cover but I assumed this represented a form of Dr. Who that didn’t really count. Filling the gap myself, the very first story - acted out with my Baker doll - had Dr. Who as a normal physician from the olden days working in the Wild West but without his scarf! Someone phones him up to go and cure them. On the way he finds a blue box next to a post with some tethered horses. Dr. Who goes in to have a look about and is spirited away by the mysterious craft. The Doctor quickly gets to grips with flying this baffling new time/space machine and when he feels confident enough, starts wearing a scarf. And meets Leela.

DUGGAN’S INVITATION (1980)

I don’t think I got too far with this one. In real life Tom Baker and Lalla Ward were getting married so I imagined this would carry on through to the actual series. The Doctor and Romana decide to tie the knot and agree to invite their best Earth friend, Duggan from that one with the seaweed head man that was on telly last year. As they are space people, Duggan’s invite comes in the form of a small, message-bearing meteorite (something the TARDIS is obviously capable of knocking up), jettisoned at high-speed from the time machine and landing down the chimney of Duggan’s house. The tough-talking private-eye is not too impressed when this results in his face being covered in soot.

AN WEREWOLF (1980)

Having turned eight, this was a far more substantial work. I was aware that a new young companion called Adric was on his way and had read in, I think, the John Craven’s Back Page of Radio Times that the new producer wanted to do a werewolf story at some point. All I can remember of this was a cliffhanger; the Doctor, Romana and Adric were trapped at the end of corridor with a werewolf approaching. This was resolved when Adric noticed a big stained glass window above them and threw a stone at it. The trio made good their escape.

DOWN THE MINES (1980)

Romana’s gone but the Doctor and Adric are still travelling about, running into trouble immediately when they turn up on a world where people are made to work down the mines, mining radioactive things for the people in charge. The Doctor is captured and put under a machine like an upside down copper bath tub that makes him better at working in a radiation mine. When the huge metal bath rises, the Doctor has a green face, no mouth and a red jump suit! Adric makes him better before the end though.

TRUCKER (1981)

Davison had been cast but wasn’t on telly yet. This may explain his unusual character in these tales. Going for a more urban, gritty feel that wouldn’t appear on screen till the McCoy era, this story had Davison, Tegan, Nyssa and Adric coming to Earth for the funeral of a UNIT soldier (you can tell I’d done some research by this point). Landing outside a greasy-spoon cafe, the group inadvertently annoy a muscular truck driver who wants to punch the Doctor. The Doctor panics, activates his sonic screwdriver and makes the sign above the café fall down. This worries the trucker, who decides to call it a day. A few years later it occurred me that in a time-travel show it would be ludicrous for the Doctor to start attending funerals as he’d have to be doing it permanently. Then came Revelation of the Daleks.

THE DESERT (1981)

The Doctor lands in the desert but not close enough to where he was supposed to be, so for comic effect he forces his three companions to push the TARDIS through the sand to the location in question. He then meets the people he was hoping to meet, taking Nyssa and Tegan with him while leaving Adric to cover the TARDIS in sand so it won’t be spotted by anyone evil. By now I didn’t actually hate Adric, but was envious that he was in the show while I wasn’t. I was planning to do stories boasting an expanded cast of Davison, Nyssa, Tegan, Adric and Prince Sebastian; young space royalty who rode around on a motorbike. He would have been played by me. I would be useful as I was small enough get through air vents and things.

NEXT TIME- The ‘lost’ Colin Baker adventures!